Well, that was Gross! I Think I Need a Shower!
When someone with fresh eyes steps into the culture of the online 'preneur...
I have a lot to say. I’ve said it. I’ve let it sit. I’ve edited. I let it sit some more. Something else happened. I added to it. Then I let it sit.
Some of you may be thinking, “when does she not have something to say!?” ha!
But here’s the deal. I’m not gonna say it all. I don’t think it really serves you or respects your time. And, I can always save some for my next submission.
Why have we let this become normal? Or even okay?
I was having a conversation with a life long friend last week. He has stepped into the online business arena with a business that he is finding some success in. We were brainstorming some ideas for business and then he sent me a link and said, “This ad hit my feed.” And I recognized it - it has been in my feed for the last six months. It’s a book I’d actually love to have but not a priority I am choosing to focus on at the moment, so I hadn’t put forth the cash for the shipping of this “free” book. Plus, I knew what clicking through meant at that point. I’d be entering a funnel and upsell hell.
Well, my naive friend didn’t know any better and he clicked through. $2.99 for shipping for book - he was in. Then it took him to an upsell of the audio version of the same book for $37!!! My friend was like, “What is this?” Then the next upsell was for $197 that had a really long video that he just let play out as we were chatting. And when he first sent me the link, I was like “yeah, that’s typical. Congrats you just entered the 7th circle of hell of his clickfunnel from which there is no escape and now his email will relentlessly haunt you forever. You can unsubscribe but he’ll just re-upload your email he got when you purchased next time he uploads his leads… and keep doing it. Google filters will become your best friend!”
My friend’s comments were: “This is yucky.” (Then, awhile later into the funnel…) “This is just gross!” (then finally..) “I need a shower.”
I want to pause a minute here. Let this sink in for a minute.
This is how someone new to the arena with a blank canvas feels and responds to something that we just shrug or roll our eyes and say something about how normal it is as coaches, online marketers, etc.
Given my friend’s response to his experience, I have to ask the question:
Why have we let this become normal?
Or even okay?
So much so, that we even joke about it? Oh, the absurdity!
I experienced three calls this September that made me decide I am not taking any more call invitations from coaches, consultants or sales team members. Because these tactics are not okay.
I’ve witnessed some horrific things from two HUGE “Christian” influencers in the MLM arena that have left my head scratching over how many people are completely devoted followers (including friends of mine!) and can’t see that they are frauds - even when so many on the Internet have clearly demonstrated and proven their fraudulent behavior. Maybe they aren’t that obvious and my gift of discernment is just that strong. It seemed pretty obvious to me, though! Talk about needing a shower! After going down that rabbit hole - I felt like I needed one. Please don’t hear me wrong. I specifically said TWO - I’m not wanting to start a war with all Christian influencers in the MLM arena - there are some amazing people in that arena!
Then, my conversation with my friend and then…. what happened to me on the last day of September.
I was blind sided… AGAIN! By a bully on the internet who had masqueraded as my friend and my mentor, and who I once thought would be my future coach.
People have called her out before and I have actually defended her … but learned the hard way that she clearly is everything they had said she was. This actually breaks my heart for her because she is absolutely amazing in her arena. But she’s got a side to her that if she even thinks for half a second you might have stepped on the line of not understanding her or not agreeing with her - you are dead to her! Right after she blasts you in a comment thread using everything she was ever trusted with about your core values and beliefs and she weaponizes it and humiliates you on a public thread in an arena she believes she is surrounded by supporters who will chime in. By the time you realize what she just did as the first comments come to chime in - she blocks you before you can message her PRIVATELY and ask her what’s up? So quick to block you but slow to refund you the money you paid to experience this!!!
I think she’s been really hurt in the past by others and that makes her over-zealous & extremely unhealthy in the way she chooses to protect herself; that anyone who remotely begins to disagree with her or question her is viewed as someone out to harm her. So, I’m not going to fault her for that.
However, weaponizing my core beliefs against me? I’m gonna have a long, long way to go before I ever trust a coach again. I am going to try my best to find my way back to trusting again - but I am going to be very careful in the future about who I allow so deeply into in my space.
So this all brings me to this: What am I doing here?
If I really think that I don’t trust coaches anymore, how can I call myself a coach? I questioned whether or not I even want to even be associated to this industry anymore. But as soon as I started contemplating this, I had clients and friends and others who witnessed what happened that weren’t even connected to me reach out and suggest rather than walking away, be a trail blazer for change in this industry. That maybe that’s what the September lessons are directing me to.
Updated / Edited November 3, 2023
I want to pose a question to you. When you look around your own industry, what do you see that needs to be celebrated? What needs to be changed? What no longer needs to be tolerated? And most importantly, what can YOU do to bring about change?
Here is what I came up with:
Monthly Subscription to THIS COMMUNITY on the Substack Platform. And if it wasn’t priced low enough, The annual subscription is even less! There is also a Founding Subscriber option for a little more that.
Free subscribers continue to get content as they have been.
Paid Subscribers ($7 a month / $47 annual) get:
Deeper Dive Additional Content for some posts. Coaching Exercises on some other posts. Not all - but some!
The joy that comes from supporting a favorite writer / contributor
Founding Subscribers ($97 annual) - get all of the above plus:
Founding subscribers receive the final, digital copies of my upcoming book releases for free.
I love to support Feeding America - $1 from every subscription every month will be donated to Feeding America. They support food banks and other programs to feed the hungry across the USA. $10 from Annual Subscriptions / $20 from Founding Members
I’ve enabled a generous referral program / opportunity which can help you earn FREE MONTHS of MEMBERSHIP! (3 Referrals - 1 Month… 10 Referrals - 3 Months, 25 Referrals - 6 Months.)
On top of that paid subscribers will have opportunity to gift FREE Paid subscriptions to friends & family.
I am far more interested in making lasting impact than the high ticket experiences our industry is known for. I will have opportunities to add on some additional coaching experiences - but my primary focus is the membership - whether free or paid tier - where I feel I can best serve you.
My goal is to change how this industry conducts business and transform the experience of clients & potential clients as well as audience members. I hope you will join this journey with me! I look forward to what lies ahead for all of us!
I have several workshops and intensives on deck for the next few months - but need your help in determining which I do first… where is there the most interest, etc. So, if you could please take just a few minutes to complete any poll you see, I would appreciate it!